Diner Education

burnt butts cleaned out of
glass ashes when gray overtakes transparency
smack the Heinz bottle
on the 28
to get ketchup on steak fries
2 cream 1 sugar
no smile no tip
no pancakes after 12 pm
or before 9 pm
no cook in the kitchen
between 3 am and 5 am
truckers at 6 am for coffee and eggs
travelers at 8 am for coffee and bagels
elderly at 10 am for coffee and specials
high schoolers at 3 pm for soda and burgers
locals at 7 pm for quick dinners
Zoloft poppers at 11 pm for coffee and company
don’t order cream of anything
when Mitch is cook
jukebox always on, customer always right
except when they’re wrong
never a party
never quiet
always open
24 hours, closed Christmas and Easter
wear sneakers and feet won’t hurt
prices raised 50 cents after June 1
free coffee refills, free soda refills, lotto players give bigger tips
bathroom for customers only
Shirley doesn’t serve anyone
except her regulars, unless they die and don’t come in
Herb comes at 1:30
for ass pinching, for sneak peeks, for a cheeseburger, sweetie
double shift means double headache, double dose of Advil